BY MICHAEL SOZE
Lots of guys aren’t picky about sex! This is the sobering result of a survey by the portal markt.de:
Neither age nor looks play a role in sex for three-quarters of all respondents.
It seems a bit paradoxical, because on the other hand a British study shows that about half of all homosexuals are dissatisfied with their own bodies. Four out of five guys also feel under a lot of pressure to look as sporty and good as possible.
It seems that the perception within the community is becoming increasingly distorted. Two studies by the American Psychological Association investigated how gays feel about being overweight. This means that gay men perceive their counterpart as „too fat“ much earlier than heterosexual men.
Body shaming and exclusion due to outward appearances have been on the rise in the community for years.
However, when it comes to the mere satisfaction of urges, the own narrow limits of physical desire disappear behind the urgent desire for sexual satisfaction.
Feelings and love are also more important than sex for only a minority of Germans. Only in terms of fidelity and relationship does the scales tip over to the other side.
Homosexuals are still fighting for acceptance, for an equal view on their personal life plans. This is where it comes as a bitter blow that we make our personal self-esteem so dependent on outward appearances on the one hand, and on the other hand throw everything overboard when the greed for sex is at its greatest. Of course, the figures are open to doubt, but the online marketplace surveyed over 2,600 users. The company is one of the country’s largest dating sites, with over five hundred million hits every month – so there’s no way to wipe the results off the page.
Maybe we just need to look at it all from a different angle?
Isn’t it nice that all the exaggerated guidelines concerning one’s own beauty and the attractiveness of others become unimportant when it comes to intimacy?
Homosexuals are often portrayed in the broad media as drive-driven beings, accompanied by a direct or at least indirect disparagement of their life model. Perhaps, however, this focus on the fun of sex is the true liberation away from all exaggerated role models.
Is it possible that our sex connects us more than we are aware of? That lust for the other guy frees us?
Are we more liberal when we are naked? After all, topics such as money and intellect play a subordinate role for the majority of those questioned.
Certainly the interplay between supply and demand also plays a role here. In big cities, there are so many guys who fit the ideal picture that it’s harder for imperfect men to be perfect. On the other hand, there are also many gays in these cities who are not on the model pyjamas.
So at the end of the day we can decide for ourselves whether we want to perceive our fixation on sexuality as a liberation or a degradation of ourselves. The fact remains, however, that for the vast majority of us sex is one of the most important anchors of a fulfilled life.
